Your devotion to dying to what is not true will show you how alive you are.

Mysticism, intimacy, divine feminine, womb awakening, sacred sexuality

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I ask you to kill me.

Kill me now.

Kill my fake smiles,

Destroy my weird, unnatural,

“Normal”, plastic, shape,

And take away that rotten feeling,

That I still feel,

The untruths leaking my energy away to the past,

To those I no longer want,

To my fears…

And lifetimes of hiding who I was.

Show me who I am.

I ask you to forgive me for hiding.

Forgive me for hiding my love from you,

Forgive me for turning away your lips.

I ask you to kill my shadow.

You say you have nothing to kill.

You say…

It cannot be killed.

It is not real.

You ask me to forgive me I thought I was.

You ask me to hold her tight and let her disintegrate inside out embrace,

As you catch my frail body,

And give me back my strength.

Now I feel your lips, fill me with power,

I cannot refuse any longer.

This is not greed.

Not shame, not guilt, not cowardice.

These are not my fake smiles to get conditional love.

This is not my hungry ghost’s

Bottomless need for more of my fear,

More of my doubt,

More of my lies.

She is gone,

You let her die.

She died inside our embrace.

I see this now.

My prayer twelve months ago,

To rid me of bullshit,

And fill me with the truth.

My prayer was to die for everything I was not.

I ask you to kill more of what is rotten, untrue, fake and imagined every day.

Like a kundalini snake shedding her skin moment by moment,

Not just season by season.

But swifter,

Breath, by breath, I ask you to reveal more of what is not true,

So I can let it die, let it become dust.

Ashes to sparks of our immortal light.

Death to life,

The snake within me is moving,

SHeding her skin in my old cells,

So that she can reveal her immortality,

Inside of me,

While we are alive and breathing.

I feel her rise up my spine

Her flesh is bleeding with the recognition of my beating heart,

With her pulse playing softly underneath mine.

My prayer is to burn down the old skin,

My shadows came undone with each follicle,

That flakes down the road back home,

As I shed more of my skin,

Coming home to you.

on the hollow ground of my mind’s games.

I see you now.

You are here.

You are the home I have been trying to be worthy of.

And you have always been mine.

Thank you for taking away every part of me that hid me from your love.

I thank you for bringing me back to life.

I pray only for you never to leave my side.

You smile.

“Silly girl.

I love your heart.

I made it on my own. And now it beats inside of mine.

-You are now close,

Whispering this secret truth n my ear:

“ I never left you.

How could I?

You are born through my love for all that you are,

And your body will die in mine.

You asked for me to hide from you.

While you hid your creative power from the world.

Let your sacred snake show you the home whenever you feel I left you.

Let her show you who you are not.

Let her evoke what you always are.

Let her shake you awake to your creative flow.

Let her draw your sacred art in your mind.

So that you can find the joy in finding me again,

Through your body,

Through your words,

Through your music,

Through your dance.

Remember who you are.

This is yours,

This, Me,

Our divine creation,

Our world, which you get to bring our children in.

Us merging together inside your home,

It is YOURS.

It has always been here.

Yours to reveal,

Below the shadows of your mind.

This is yours.

The only thing you can never lose.

Is this?

Us, together, in full embrace.

In full nakedness of our desire for each other.

Your devotion is born through our union.

She is your daughter,

She is the one I ask to visit you,

When you forget me as your one beloved.

You are freedom.

You are light and dark, dancing in the fire of your womb.

You are the Kindle that keeps your heart beating.

You say:

“You are seeing what I have held safe for you.

The only thing that’s true in you.

Make mysterious art with it.

Make mundane love with it.

Blend the two.”

So there is no more separation.

I will be the mundane magic in the everyday.

And so you merge with me.

I stand here alone.

And full of your desire for me to create,

To share the secrets,

That you are whispering in my ear.

I will keep asking for my death,

So that I can remember my devotion to

Be fully alive while I am here.

Let me make it real with this sacred art.

This is you, speaking through my hands,

My mind, my heart, my words….

It feels like a quiet, endless orgasm.

No fear, only full surrender to you, leading me back home.

This is how true words create new worlds.

This is my devotion.

This is our sacred union.

Welcome to our world.

I bow to us,

Beloved, I am ready to die for us.

But first, I will live for us.

And this poem is my pledge to do it fully alive to your love.

Devoted to hearing your gentle whispers,

Of what you ask me to create in your name.

This is my truth.

I am that.