My Devotion is yearning for You.

I am fully here to welcome you,

I love you,

I want you to take me.

Claim all of me now.

I am yours.

Take me fully.

I am spreading my naked legs and a broken heart for you.

I love you.

Take me whole.

Show me how whole I am.

I trust you.

May you burn my beautiful dresses that no longer fit,

And I do not want to starve myself to make them.

I want to eat and drink the waters of life,

I want to feast on your body.

I want you to devour mine.

I want to give myself all of the space to receive you fully.

I want to honor how much love I feel from you,

And how much more there is,

If only I knew. 

I can only Love all of you,

Fully submitted to Your Will.

To Your Grace.

Receive me and lead my heart,

I am open. 

I am open.

Please hold me,

And rid me of fear.

I love you, I love you. I love you. I ask you to honor me

Guide me to you.

Guide me to you. 

I am tired of lying.

I am tired of hiding.

I am tired of being afraid of the truth I must honor,

I am tired of betraying myself and YOU.

I know that I have got You.

I trust you fully, now that I know You.

I trust you.

Show me how to love.

How can I serve you more?

Where do I need to completely surrender?

I could not see you.

I was blind.

I closed my heart to yours.

And I chose to forget.

Until that night under the morning star,

By the fire of remembering the ancient story of our love.

I saw you keep the fire burning so I can walk in beauty.

And as my tears of remembering our love burst through the damn of my tears, and broke up my lies.

I remembered You.

I saw you.

And I asked to be free to love you more.

I asked to be given a chance to Love you again.

What happens if I am fully free to love you as only I can?

What happens when I let you call me by my name?

Like Jesus called her “Mary.”

And she knew.

She held him close to her heart.

She led him to his bed.

She held him into his Bliss.

She called him by his name.

Christ. She Heard Her name is Christ, too.

And she knew how to see him as that.

I ask for that kind of love.

I ask for that kind of grace.

That truth of knowing the Divine exists in men.

That the Divine is Your Nature.

To know it is time I call you back to me.

To cut the chords of shame and fear, and disgust.

I ask to let go of my safety chords.

The bandage I felt so cozy in.

I do not want it anymore.

I ask for You to call me by my name.

But first I know, I have to call you in.

And what I want is to show you my devotion,

The red flesh between my legs.

the lush pink of my human lips.

The flush on my cheeks, and the heat of my darkest desire for your firm hand on my belly, holding me close, as I choose to sway I yearn to go, led by you, graciously in our dance.

I want you to see my nakedness, and I want you to to feel it.

I want to take it al off, and dress it all up for you.

The dress I never wore for you, because I couldn’t see you.

I could not see you.

I could not see you.

Standing there, waiting for me to ask you to come in.

You have been there all along,

You waited at my fingertips, breathing into me,

I trust the time has come,

And I ask to hear your voice.

I ask for your grace.

I ask you to forgive me for hiding from you.

I know there is something I have not done.

My eyes don’t know you yet.

I have blind to you.

And then you said: See me.

See me, so I can show you what I am.

See me.

Let me see you.

Let me see you.

I want to see you, as you see me.

I want to see you see me.

I want to know you do.

You know I had to turn away.

I had to close my eyes.

I had to shut them down.

I stopped believing you could be real

And yet I knew you were.

In my body, I knew, I crave you to remind me.

And now, in silence.

I hear you.

I hear you fully.

I know you are here.

As you have been.

I know you have protected me.

I know you are the one who shut my eyes to keep me from shame.

I know now, how much you did for me.

An now, I ask HER if she is ready to let you in.

She says “come in.”

She is ready for you.

And now, I see and I hear, I hear you tell me, that I must look at this world, to see you standing here.

I must know that I am to bring your presence into this world through my body.

It is on me to let you lead me, and it is my choice to show that 

I believe in you.

I am to stand for you.

I am to choose you.

I am to show you how much I love you.

I am to be in devotion to you.

I know you will not ask, but I know it is already so.

It has already been ordained that I sacrifice all of me for US.

That I give up my little life for the immortal space of our bliss.

It is for me to know you chose me to be filled with you.

And only in being filled with YOU, can I deliver my heart’s gifts to those who call me.

I have been chosen. I chose myself to be your beloved wife, your whole woman.

Your beloved.

That is me.

I have to see you.

And I have to discern where you are not, and let that go.

I have to Choose only the one who calls you by your name.

Who knows my name too.

As you called me by mine,

You know my name.

The name I forgot you knew.

I now remember it is the one you gave me.

Love.